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2013. 4. 15.

small

Many people rant on facebook about how they have it so hard and shit and it's annoying as fuck. Seriously if you write an emotionally charged, lengthy screed on how hard your (insert some cs, engi, or hard science course here) is and how hard you have tried to do well, I can tell you two things: 1. You have lived a spoiled life and 2. You are dumb, being slow is not something to be proud of, and earning pity points will not salvage you from your academic incompetence. I think this is a Korean thing or more specifically fob thing and occurs when their defense mechanism tries to save the world by balancing out the social pressure to perform on an acceptably prestigious level. But obviously some are dumber and lazier than others and this group is the one conditioned to embarrass themselves on cyberspace as they are literally incapable of restraining their fingers from fishing for comments that read "힘내 괜찮아 ㅜㅜ 이거 듣고 화이팅! (insert a youtube link of some  cheesy ass korean indie song for encouragement)".

What bothers me about this is that dumb, ignorant, and most importantly irresponsible, people are so many in number. And it's hard that I have to cross words, feelings, and whatever else humans communicate with, with these inferior creatures and dumb things down just because I am flesh too and I need people and relationships to preserve sanity. It hurts that I am so dependent on people when people means small existences designed for small things.

And at this point I ask God, is this a blasphemy? Am I wrong in calling your creations small and am I prideful for looking down on them? And what do I do when I constantly make myself a slave to the same set of people and cannot help it?

And intuition tells me love is the solution. Jesus befriended the whores and the proles moreso than he did the erudite and the clergy. But like anything, easier said than done. This is one of the occasions where high standards hurt more than benefit. It is hard to love people when they seem so mindless, foolish, and small.

Small as fuckkkkk


2013. 4. 7.

증명

난 모든걸 잘해야 하지만
그럴 필요가 없는 그 사람들이 부러웠다.
난 내가 쓰레기가 아니라는걸 매일 증명해야 하는데