On Memory. 추억에 대하여

Memory is beautiful in that it is forever preserved & kept & out-of-reach. Once you lay a fingertip on it, its worth reduces to a morsel of dust. This perhaps suffice as my justification for not meeting up with my old elementary school pals whom I have not seen for a decade. In my mind and probably in theirs as well, our old selves are beautifully idealized & enshrined, unprepared for abrupt contact or intrusion. 

Derek could kick the soccer ball so far up into the sky that the ball half the time returned with linens of cloud attached to it. We would form a circle around the soccer ball to pick up the cloud fabrics and let them dissolve on our tongues -- finger-licking good. Ronald, the spelling whiz, was left downcast for months after placing second in the local Spelling Bee. Rumor has it that he broke into tears on the stage after misspelling "gubernatorial" or something, or something like that something. Oh yeah, and Kristy was pretty. Very pretty. I don't know, I am probably remembered as an all-round Renaissance Man. No one knows that now I cannot do a single thing right anymore.

This is our own little collage of yellowed & faded photographs, kept safely within the album of our hearts. Being updated upon Kristy's new status as a single mom of an illegitimate child or Derek's medical obesity would only shred the snapshots into crumbs. So, at least for now, no touch. Let it be what it used to be. 

추억이 아름다운 이유는 다시 돌아갈 수 없어서 이다.
보존되고 박제되어야 한다.
추억에 손을 대는 순간 추억의 가치는 증발하니까.
이것이 내가 초등학교 동창들을 안만난 이유,
아니면 그저 핑계?
모르겠다